the lion and the wolf.

the lion’s outside of your door; the wolf’s in your bed.*

dustin kensrue is an amazing lyricist. it’s taking everything out of me to keep from using this post simply for the dissection of the multiple layers of and references in that song.

first of all, i know that i am not trusting enough. i am very aware of this (what people say is a) “flaw,” but have yet to realize the consequences. deep down, i know they will become evident one day, but right now, this is safety for me. i am always astonished when people put ads in papers, looking for babysitters, house sitters, dog sitters, whatever. i don’t care how many references you hand me, i won’t trust someone i’ve just met enough to leave them alone in my house, especially with my children. but as some strangers can be trusted and some can’t, so goes with people who are familiar to us. as awful as the thought of how many terrible crimes are committed by someone close to the victim is, my children may be better off with a stranger than with someone i think i know. strangers are manifest potential enemies, much like the lion. the wolf, however, is a less-obvious but equally-menacing enemy. he is "mocking man’s best friend,"* getting to the depths of your inner being and earning your trust to the point that you’d “let him in your bed,” so to speak. such makes his suspicious actions overlooked; such leaves you vulnerable for attack.

both the wolf and lion crave the same thing in the end.*

you cannot confine yourself to a room and stay by your child’s side forever. this is obviously unhealthy, not letting the child be exposed to other people, other places, other ideas. at some point, you have to trust your child with other people.

my faith is much like a child to me. i cannot keep it to myself and stunt its growth. other people will influence it and help me shape it. i will have to trust other people and their beliefs in order for my own to mature. my faith will play games with theirs, will challenge and be challenged by theirs. they can come up with new ways of doing things, and find comfort in one another. they can help each other out of ruts. i ponder this analogy and apply it to the ‘lion and wolf’ scenario.

for each person, there are beliefs he or she knows can’t be bought into. it doesn’t matter what they believe. i apologize for how closed-minded that may sound, but if someone says to me that satan will conquer all, i won’t agree. i’m not going to run that person over in a car, but i won’t agree. this is something that directly contradicts what i believe, in a very discernible manner. satan is your lion. he is easily spotted in obvious vices and sins that destroy you. he is not able to be mistaken for your house cat.

the wolf’s approach is much less lucid. he can easily disguise himself as a dog, as “man’s best friend”- someone you’ll turn to: your friend, your family member, even a religious leader of yours. by gradually blinding you with the trust you’ve readily given them, leading you down the wrong path is much smoother a task. there is no struggle, only the idea that his intentions are in your best interest. the belief that he will protect you from the lion, when he is actually the feline’s inside man, working to warp your vision. your morals can be mutilated and perhaps even devoured completely by the jaws of the beasts. the wolves are created by satan influencing those you comfortably open your mind to, your false teachers, who are eagerly opening the door for the lion.*

both the wolf and lion crave the same thing in the end.*

of course, i don’t mean all of this is about believing in God. it’s more appropriately about, very simply, the sense of what is right and what is wrong. how do we know which people to have faith in?


“cimara, cut the preaching. where are you going with this?”

in my head, views of people as a whole are conflicting to the point of blatant hypocrisy. sometimes i believe in seeing only the good in everyone, that every last person is to be free of judgment from me, completely. that i should treat everyone equally. this has been thrown at me since i can remember- from churches, teachers, adults, children’s shows, children’s books, and the like. it’s a good idea, in theory. not one of us is less valuable than any other. i can’t argue against that. but i’m getting older, and judgment applies to much, much deeper things than appearance, accents, and whether or not someone is skilled at jumping rope.

other times, i try to go by the tree metaphor. a tree that puts out apples is an apple tree. we are what we are. i lie, so i am a liar. is that wrongful judgment, or is that justly calling me what name i have earned?

when an individual has the potential to lure me down what i believe is the wrong road, should i not refuse? is this refusal considered a judgment of them, and not just the road, on my part? if i refuse, aren’t i treating them unequally in comparison to people whose morals i do agree with, who share my road? if i don’t refuse, by doing so aren’t i refusing to go down another road, and by that, passing judgment on another being? can we really treat everyone equally, without judgment? i'm not so sure.

i understand the idea of walking my own walk while respecting everyone else, no matter what walk they’re taking. but what if i discover a wolf? how am i supposed to continue respecting someone the same amount when i find they’re pulling people into darkness, maybe even pulling me into darkness?


and what’s even worse is the thought that that person could be me, and i wouldn't even realize it.

i could very well be that wolf in your bed.



-c.



soundtrack: thrice*, brand new.