body in a box.

"we celebrate the lives of the dead- it's like a man's best party only happens when he dies. we gather 'round to pay our respects, while their souls are still searching for the light."*

something i've been pondering today while driving all over, is just what those lyrics are talking about- funerals. my freshman year of high school saw four people in my family pass away, some more quickly than others. i got very used to the funeral home, to hospice, to all components of the emotional spectrum from family, in eight months. i remember wondering, then, why my family never came together like they were, when it wasn't too late. i remember thinking every time that, maybe, everyone was going to turn over a new leaf.

how quickly the effort for community tires people.
how quickly everyone returned to their routine lives, seemingly unscathed.

when death is fresh on their minds, friends and family and acquaintances always seem to have these beautiful words in remembrance of the deceased. all of these compliments and fond thoughts that always make everyone else wish they knew him/her better. it's interesting how death can put your opinion of someone into perspective. you see what had been a human being, much like yourself. sometimes, this comes in the form of a wave of regret. i'm not sure where i'm going with all of this.

i suppose my question is:
why do we wait until someone dies, to tell them what a lovely life they were living? why don't we give people the recognition they deserve?


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EDIT (10/6/2010):
up until this point, everything in this blog was written over a year ago. i'm typing right now in the space where the statement,"if i come up with an answer, i'll edit it in," once was.

i'm afraid the only answer i've found is that we are afraid that by giving others recognition, one is detracting from one's own recognition account . i suppose it would make sense, except respect and love and encouragement are not a currency.

I suggest we stop treating them as such.






-c.



soundtrack: *city and colour, dear and the headlights, earlimart.